Inspired by The Full Armor Band’s song “The One I Can’t Live Without”
“Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam… And wuv, tru wuv, will fowow you foweva… So tweasure your wuv.” For anyone who has seen the Princess Bride, these words shared by the Impressive Clergyman will go down in infamy. And though this depiction was meant to elicit humor, what the clergyman says in his prelude is true. True love stands the test of time and whomever God gives you to share your life with, you need to treasure that person and daily treat them like you can’t live without them.
When I first met my wife, it was love at first sight. We met through a mutual friend and hit it off instantaneously. We spend six years building up an amazing friendship, dated all the wrong people to realize we were perfect for each other. I quickly came to realize through all of my heartaches and brokenness, that she really was the girl I couldn’t live without.
Whether you’re in a committed dating relationship, you are married or single and looking for that special person God has created for you, there are questions you need to ask yourself and answer genuinely, before you can begin to have any type of success in your relationship. First, you have to ask yourself: am I willing to give 100% of yourself to my mate? Then ask yourself do I think my mate is willing to give 100% of him or herself to me? True love is a selfless love. Even when you are tired or have had a bad day, selfless love will enable you to meet the needs of your partner. A selfish love grows old quickly when its own needs are not being met.
Second, Do you like the other person? In the movie Shenandoah, one man approached another man to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage. The father asked, “Do you like my daughter?” the young man answered, “I love your daughter!” The wise old man said, “I didn’t ask if you loved her; I asked you, Do you like her?” Sometimes people get married even though they don’t really like the personality or behavior of their partner. Often they think they’ll change the other person. This plan is rarely successful. So ask yourself if you like your partner even with his or her faults. And consider, too, whether you could live with his or her faults. Finally, consider whether you could live with his or her faults forever!
Third, are you transparent with each other? In other words, is your relationship one in which you can be open and honest with each other? Open communication and honestly are major tools in maintaining a positive relationship. I’ve never seen a good relationship that didn’t have these elements.
Fourth, are you and your partner too dependent on each other? There are two different types of relationships: “I love, therefore I need” and “I need, therefore I love.” The second type can be a real loser in the long run. Many relationships, however, are based on this, “I need, therefore I love” idea, and those usually fail. Either one person ceases to love or the other person gets tired of this total dependency and eventually leaves.
Fifth, is your love self-centered? When a person is infatuated with someone, that person is often asking, “What’s in it for me?” This type of love involves getting rather than giving. A self-centered love is not a true love; it is a counterfeit love. Our goal in love should be what the Greeks termed agape love. This is the same type of self-giving, self-sacrificing love that God has for you.
Finally, do you have a mature love for Jesus Christ? I believe that a good test of true love is to ask if both people involved can honestly say, “I have a desire to be all that God wants me to be. I am willing to put the Lord Jesus Christ first in my own life and in my partner’s life. Our relationship to each other is second to my relationship with Christ. The couples I know who are doing well, are those who have a good relationship with God individually and together as a couple. A love that is tied together with the love of God is the strongest kind of love.
Love is an uniquely wonderful experience. But if you don’t put the effort into putting that love into action, you will always have failure as the end result. So, as I close this devotional, I want to challenge you to evaluate yourself in terms of your relationship to others. If you are single, are you preparing yourself to be the person you need for your future partner? If you’re dating or married, are you are you asking yourself the tough questions and working daily to continue to grow in your love and relationship with your partner? If this person is truly the person you can’t live without, you need to treat them accordingly. Remember, God is the ultimate true love. God didn’t just speak love, He acted it out by sending His Son. He Lord has called us to love like He has. That’s a big task. That’s a lot of love. So, love Him first and out of the overflow of your heart you will be able to speak and show true love to others.
Tim Ewing is the founder of Kindred Concert Ministries. You can learn more about Kindred by going to www.facebook.com/kindredconcerts or by emailing him at firstname.lastname@example.org
The Full Armor Band is five-piece band contemporary Christian folk group from Middletown, NY. “The One I Can’t Live Without” can be found on their new CD titled “None The Same”, which can be found on the band’s official website www.fullarmorband.com, iTunes and Amazon.,” For more information about The Full Armor Band you can visit their website at www.fullarmorband.com or on Facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/fullarmorband
Want to read other devotionals written by Tim? Go to: https://www.facebook.com/notes/kindred-concerts-for-christ/kindreds-devotional-series/463516160364310